The guest list, the guest list… Oh that guest list. Many a wedding story can be told about it!
A few weeks ago I was invited onto the George Hook Show on Newstalk to discuss a recent survey carried out and published on the Daily Mail UK website. The survey says, “less than one in ten couples expect the bride’s parents to pay for their wedding as tradition dictates”. Interesting, and a huge relief for father’s of the bride!
One point George Hook put to me was that if parents pay for their daughter’s wedding does that allow them more input and voice when it comes to the guest list. Often it does so keep the lines of communication open.
Compiling a guest list is the easy part – compiling a guest list that doesn’t cause a family rift is the hard part. You have to think about the venue, what you can afford, relations and friends from both sets of parents.
- Do you ask your second cousin that you haven’t seen in 3 years? I would say no.
- Should you ask the girls you went to school with that you are still in contact with today? No brainer, definitely!
- Do Dad’s golfing friends need to be invited? If you can afford it and it will save your Dad embarrassment in the future, I would.
- Do you have to invite all of your neighbours and parent’s neighbours? Talk to your parents about this and see how they feel. If you have contact with these people on a regular basis, well perhaps yes, but otherwise, no!
To help manage your RSVPs, I suggest keeping track of everything on a spreadsheet (or in a lovely notebook!). Add names, addresses, and a column for RSVPs. Update as they are coming back in the post or via telephone conversations.
2 quick tips:
1. Include a RSVP card and stamp with your invitation.
2. Give guests an option to RSVP by email or telephone.
Seating plans can cause serious headaches for couples, so:
- Get started on it as soon as possible.
- Most of the seating plan will be easy to do but don’t dwell too much on the last few names.
- Will Aunty Mary want to sit next to Great Uncle Bernard? People are going to enjoy their meal, the company and celebration so don’t waste time worrying about things you can’t control!
- Putting the actual seating plan together – is this something your venue will do for you? Your stationer? Yourselves? Organise this as soon as possible!
- Do not make drastic changes to the seating plan the day before the wedding.
Essentially managing a guest list, RSVPs and a seating plan is managing people – never an easy task!
Karen Buchanan is a regular blogger for Wedding Dates. She runs a wedding planning business called Weddings With Karen Buchanan. Connect with her on her Facebook page at Weddings With Karen Buchanan or chirp her over on Twitter. Her Twitter handle is @karenbuchanan3. Image sourced via Microsoft Online.
