Em Ryan at The Roving Rev has been celebrating rainbow weddings in America and Ireland since October 2013, when marriage equality became every couples’ right in New Jersey. Some questions have come up as to same sex wedding traditions. There are none! We are creating as we go!
So here are some ideas to keep in mind as you plan your wedding ceremony (and your wedding day or weekend):
Supplier selection:
Many couples in the community choose gay or gay-friendly wedding suppliers as it saves “coming out” over and over again. For a variety of wedding suppliers, please visit Wedding Suppliers. Also suggested, check out suppliers on Irish LGBT Weddings or Gay City News which brings us to…
Venues:
The Roving Rev has had wonderful experiences officiating ceremonies at Dromquinna Manor in Kenmare, Co. Kerry and Gweedore Court Hotel in Gweedore, Co. Donegal. Please also see GCN’s venue recommendations at the Gay City News link above.
What to Wear:
Clothes! Unless you are planning a clothing-optional wedding. So you may both choose to wear tuxes or suits or Bermuda shorts. Or you may both wear wedding gowns or dresses or tuxedas (tuxedos with a feminine flair). Veil or no veil? A second dress for the reception? Outfitting a trans bride with a more generous shoe size or gown length? A trans groom with a more suitably tailored tux? How about kilts? Again, your choice completely.
Attendants:
Man of Honour or Best Maid? You will likely need someone to witness the legal bit at the HSE, fluff your gown and hold your bouquet for you. You may need a second someone to hand you the personal vows you may have written or the wedding rings during the ceremony. You may choose to have a Page Person or Flower Person and other attendants as well. Children and pets can even get involved with delivering the ring at the right moment. Get creative!
Wedding Shower/Stag/Hen:
How about a Jack & Jill party? All genders welcome! Or keep it to just the Hens or Stags on a wild weekend in Lanzarote or Ibiza? Decisions, decisions!
Ceremony:
The Roving Rev is a premium Wedding Supplier with over 50 real reviews since 2010. She also coordinates some ceremony details at her couples’ request. She is known for celebrating diversity, with the majority of her couples from multicultural backgrounds or the gay community. Em Ryan is fluent in French, Spanish and English and is often called to create multilingual and gender-neutral ceremony wordings.
Your ceremony can be any day, any time, any where, as The Roving Rev is an Independent Celebrant, offering symbolic ceremonies and hand blessings. The legal bit is done in the HSE office and then you are free to have your ceremony anywhere you like. With an Independent Celebrant, you can have your ceremony indoors or outdoors, with no legal restrictions on your Wedding Day vision!
Are you considering a hotel venue, castle, manor house, barn or beach setting? Anything goes! Would you like a Celtic Handfasting? Jump the Broom? Tie The Knot? Unity Candle or Unity Sand Ritual? Readings from the Bible, the Koran, poetry, world literature, or song lyrics? Would you like an unplugged ceremony without guests’ cameraphones impeding your professional photographer’s process? All of these elements may be coordinated by your Independent Celebrant, whether or not you choose The Roving Rev.
Music:
While you may or may not choose “Here Comes The Bride” to walk down the aisle, you may opt for some contemporary favourites when you are not marrying in a Church, Temple or Mosque. “All of Me” by John Legend and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri have been popular in recent years but your song is not their song. Choose what resonates with your hearts and you will have an excellent beginning to your ceremony and later, at your cocktail hour and reception.
Processional:
Who will walk you down the aisle? A friend or family member? Both parents? No parents? This can be a touchy subject as we have seen from the recent royal wedding of Harry and Meghan. You may choose to walk each other down the aisle or simply stand in place with the Celebrant (for smaller ceremonies).
Vows:
Loyal and faithful may not be part of your loving, open but committed union. We can omit these words and opt for ones that reflect your unique and devoted love. We can use the words husband, wife or partner. It is entirely up to your preferences.
Rings:
Optional but many couples opt for an exchange of rings. You could do claddagh rings as engagement ring(s) and then turn them around for wedding rings. Or go with wedding bands. Or cigar bands or tattoo your ring fingers. Only limits are your imagination!
Pronouncement:
Keep your own name or add your partner’s name? This can be easy or a Battle Royale. Up to you to decide. You may even choose to hyphenate or share both surnames. On your wedding day, you may opt to have your Celebrant pronounce you “happily married” “Mr. and Mr.” or “Mrs. and Mrs.” or “Mr. and Mrs.” It is all how you identify and if you want to put a label on your new marital status.
Reception:
Buffet or sit-down, BBQ with a prosecco van? Ice sculptures and chocolate fountain? Rehearsal dinner or a pint at an Irish pub the evening before? Breakfast with guests staying nearby overnight? Plan your details on your own or with an experienced wedding planner or hotel coordinator.
Wedding Decor:
White, off- white, black, or every shade in between? How about a truly rainbow-coloured wedding complete with flowers in every shade and unicorns galore? Tiaras, tutus, or flamenco fans for guest favours are entirely up to you. You can be as traditional or non-traditional as you like. There are many ways to show your Pride! It is your wedding after all.
Honeymoon:
Destination wedding to Ireland? Or off to a sunny locale in Spain, France or Italy? Whatever you do, enjoy your newly minted marriage!
Just so you know who your author is…Em Ryan was once wed to a trans woman in a fairy circle of giant sequoias by a Druid. She knows how to write an LGBT ceremony like no other! Call or text The Roving Rev on 0838599551 to get your uniquely memorable ceremony off to a rainbow start!
