In the third part of our series of Meet the Parents, meet the mother of the groom and her role in all the hustle and bustle of the wedding preparations and celebrations.
Hopefully, you share a good relationship with your parent figure and these ideas will help you in communicating the nuances of their role, ensuring that you, they, and everyone else understands what is expected of them and can prepare appropriately. You want everyone to have a stress-free day, after all.
Provide a list of Guests for the Wedding
From the moment that you get engaged to your beloved, both mums will be thrilled and thinking about who they would like to invite to the wedding. Preparing a guest list is often constrained by budget. You have two families to consider as well as your circle of friends. Mum will have a very clear idea of the priority of family or family friends to be invited from the Groom’s side. It’s very important to have a clear understanding and communication of the budget with all parents and to set expectations early. Both sets of parents will likely have had very different parameters when they were getting married, which is why it’s important that everyone is on the same page. Ask Mum to gather addresses or emails for guests you intend to invite.
Wedding Gifts and or Registry
The mother of the groom will be a big help for guests and friends who wish to gift something to the happy couple. Although less popular these days, gift registry can really help when your guests are deciding what to purchase. Ask mum to keep a list of names and addresses for you for any gifts, cards or cheques received, so you can send a thank you card later.
Following Up on Late RSVPs
For one reason or another there are people that are late in responding back to your invitation. Ask the groom’s mum to follow up with each person on their guest list to take the pressure off the two of you.
Help with Wedding Planning
Let’s face it, there are many things to plan for a wedding, and usually the director of operations is the bride, with help from the bride’s mum. However, the groom’s mum may have strengths that can be played to as well. It can be good to get her opinion on suppliers while organising the wedding for example, she may have some contacts for cakes or flowers or favours. See if she has contacts in her little black book.
Perhaps you could invite her to your dress fitting? She will surely want to attend any shower/hen party that is arranged and will be delighted to be involved.
Help with Family Traditions
Ask the groom’s Mum if there are any family traditions or heirlooms that you can work into your wedding. It could be as simple as a pair of grandad’s cufflinks for the groom or a piece of jewellery for the bride. Other things to consider are photos of loved ones who have passed, or heirloom jewels for the bride’s bouquet. We’ve seen a recent trend where deceased loved ones’ handwriting was incorporated into parts of the celebration, such as cards and jewellery.
Plan the Rehearsal Dinner
The groom’s parents are most likely to plan and host the rehearsal dinner during the week before the wedding. It’s wise to have a ceremony run through at the church or venue (the rehearsal), so that each participant knows what is expected of them and exactly what to do, on the day of the ceremony. Usually, the planning starts five to six months in advance and The rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for the families and wedding party to get to know one another and break the ice before the wedding day. It usually takes the form of a sit-down dinner in a restaurant but you can always suggest something different like an informal supper or an afternoon picnic or buffet. It’s best to consider timing around all the rehearsal attendees and their work and family commitments, especially if they are taking additional time off for the wedding itself. In the end, it’s up to the groom’s parents as to what form it will take as they will be hosting and paying for the meal. On the day of the dinner, the groom’s mum will be front and centre to welcome her guests.
Coordinating outfits with the Bride’s Mum
The groom’s mum will take her lead on her own wedding outfit from the mother of the bride. For example if the mother of the bride is wearing a hat, or a full length gown, then usually the mother of the groom will do the same.
Standing in Receiving Line
Depending on the formality of your wedding, the parents of the groom may be required to stand in the receiving line with you. As they stand in the receiving queue, people will typically come up to them, congratulate them and shake hands.
Mother-Son Dance
Alongside the father-daughter dance, you will have a mother-son dance at the start of the reception. These days the dances tend to happen concurrently but if there’s time, you might want to have a special song for the groom and his mum to dance to. It can be a really special moment of the day.
We hope you enjoyed this piece and it went some way to clarifying the role of the Groom’s mum. Next time, we’ll speak about the role of Dad of the Groom.
Here are the first two parts of this series where we have talked about Mother of the Bride and Father of the Bride.
